I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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