just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
