but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
