I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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