Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
just found out that she named her cat after me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
