47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
