i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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