Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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