I think im going to throw up on grandma
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize