So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
