Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
