I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
