Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
