I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
