Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
