Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
