you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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