Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
