Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
please come you make the beer taste better
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize