Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
