I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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