Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
