i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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