I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
