I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I currently don't understand fingers.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
