My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
