Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
