Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
