Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We need a shit load of segways right now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
