i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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