He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize