Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
two words: eviction party
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
