Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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