dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
