I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
