Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
