Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
