ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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