he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
