I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
