i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
