just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
