I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My life is pants optional.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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