you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
