All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
