He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
