Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
