Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
