you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
