Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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