I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize