are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
