My brain says no but my pants say off.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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