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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
