jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
