i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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Don't tell me you're on acid again
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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