At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
