Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
