How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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