You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
