Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
