You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
