I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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