So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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